It Is Not What Someone Says, It Is How You React to What They SayMark Halpert | mars 04, 2013 | North America: Florida In 8th Grade our daughter was told she was not college material. It was that day we realized the school did not recognize her talents and her desire to be the teacher she never had. We helped our daughter outside the system and she is now a Nationally Board Certified Teacher. the R word or "You Can't" or "You Need to Recognize Your Child's Limitations" are words used too freely. The R Word has no place in society any more than the N Word or other inappropriate words -- we need to shift to a far more positive mode, where we start helping our kids to dream, to set goals and to overcome both their challenges and other people's limitations. Resilience and persistence are both attributes our kids need.